"I'll have what you're having. I don't mind darling, you choose. I want whatever you want." It's nice having a guy who wants to please you, but if you've ever dated a doormat, you'll know it can be infuriating too.
Madeleine says, 'Being accommodating is an important life skill but it's not the same as being a pushover. The problem with Mr Doormat is that he's turned people-pleasing into a fine art, often at the expense of his own happiness.
'Do you really want to date someone who invests so much in outside approval that he's lost all sense of his own wants and needs? How will he ever reach his own personal goals when he's too busy saying yes to everyone else?'
So how do you know whether you're dating Mr Doormat, or just Mr Really Considerate? 'Does he hide his feelings so as not to upset you?' says Madeleine, 'Does he leave it up to you to initiate intimacy? Does he avoid arguments at all costs? Does he go blank when you ask him what he thinks, likes or wants? Does he go into himself when he's annoyed? Does he constantly bombard people with compliments?
'Or find it difficult to turn down a request, however inconvenient? Does he do all this but then moan to you about how much he's taken on or how many people take him for granted? If so, it looks like you've gone and netted yourself a wet fish.'
Ok, so he puts your needs before his, but is that really that awful? There are much worse traits, surely? 'There are two nasty surprises that come with dating Mr Doormat,' says Madeleine, 'The first is that you're essentially dating a liar. They're simply not being honest with you about their own feelings and needs.
'How can you have a relationship with someone who feels they can't tell you the truth? It's Mr Liar Liar rearing his ugly head again. The second sticking point comes when Mr Doormat finally has enough of people-pleasing and bites back. Being endlessly accommodating will eventually take its toll and there's a good chance he'll boil over at some stage.'
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