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Thu, 18 Feb 2010 11:19:26 GMT | By Liz Frost
10 men to avoid dating

Mr Eeyore



A woman consolling a depressed man (© Rex Features)
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It might sound harsh to say 'Don't date somebody with depression,' but Madeleine has both been there herself and lived with somebody who was depressed, and in her words 'It sucks'.

She says, 'I'm not saying that depression doesn't deserve empathy and I'm certainly not advocating you ditch a partner who finds himself depressed. In fact it's at times like those that he'll need you the most, but there's a big difference between dating someone who becomes depressed and choosing to date somebody who is already in the dark depths of depression from the outset.'

She goes on, 'Depression is an incredibly frustrating disease, unlike any other ailment, depression gets to the very heart of who you are. It skews your perspective of the world, making everything seem bleak, difficult or hopeless. But most of all, it makes you incredibly selfish.

'Your mind is constantly occupied with your own thoughts and doubts. Other people in your life become secondary to the depression because you feel so overwhelmed by its power. There's no cheering up to be done. There's no pulling yourself together.'

'Some women are drawn to depressives because they seem so dark and mysterious,' she explains, 'Women want to mother them, take care of them, cheer them up. Perhaps I can reach him? Maybe all he needs is a good listener?' Maybe I'll be the one to make him happy when all other women have failed? Perhaps you will. But it's a huge risk and are you sure you want to take it?'

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Vote for your Influential Woman on International Women's Day

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  1. Sonia Gandhi
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    14 %
    Sonia Gandhi, Chairperson, UPA and president, Indian National Congress
    392 votes
  2. Angela Merke
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    3 %
    Angela Merke, Politician
    85 votes
  3. Mamata Banerjee
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    5 %
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    135 votes
  4. Michelle Obama
    Michelle Obama
     
    2 %
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    58 votes
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    7 %
    J Jayalalithaa, Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu
    185 votes
  6. Priyanka Gandhi Vadra
    Priyanka Gandhi Vadra
     
    2 %
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    69 votes
  7. Hilary Rodham Clinton
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    3 %
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    84 votes
  8. Kiran Bedi
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    26 %
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    698 votes
  9. Oprah Winfrey
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    3 %
    Oprah Winfrey, Media mogul
    93 votes
  10. Aung San Suu Kyi
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    8 %
    Aung San Suu Kyi, Pro-democracy leader
    220 votes
  11. Catherine
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    1 %
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    30 votes
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    2 %
    Nita Ambani, Educationist and entrepreneur
    46 votes
  13. Lady Gaga
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    1 %
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    36 votes
  14. Aishwarya Rai Bachchan
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    10 %
    Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Actor
    285 votes
  15. Anna Wintour
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    0 %
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    5 votes
  16. Arianna Huffington
    Arianna Huffington
     
    0 %
    Arianna Huffington, Media mogul
    6 votes
  17. Beyoncé Knowles
    Beyoncé Knowles
     
    0 %
    Beyoncé Knowles, Musician
    12 votes
  18. Kareena Kapoor
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    2 %
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    58 votes
  19. J. K. Rowling
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    3 %
    J. K. Rowling, Novelist
    91 votes
  20. Katrina Kaif
    Katrina Kaif
     
    8 %
    Katrina Kaif, Actor
    237 votes

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