Before you say I DO
Love alone isn’t enough to keep a couple together. There are few crucial issues that require discussion prior to getting married.
Are you compatible?
Things to consider before you get married:
Don’t get married without knowing your to-be spouse’s take on these issues. These can potentially make or break your marriage:
Do you want children?
If one wants to have a child and the other doesn’t – then there is a pressing need to speak out now. Assuming that you’ll deal with the issue later in your marriage is a mistake. So talk this out now.
Make sure you talk about money. It’s not just the technicalities of how you both will handle finances. While that is necessary, what’s more important is to check whether the two of you are comfortable to talk about money. See if you can be open about your (monetary) needs and how the other reacts to it.
Let's talk sex!
One can’t undermine the importance of sex in a marital relationship. There is bound to be a difference in sexual libido, desire, preference, masturbation, pornography and such. Check to see if the two of you are comfortable to raise issues related to sex and talk about it.
If the two of you are already having sexual issues, it’s best you seek help or postpone the wedding till this gets sorted out.
Where to draw the line with your in-laws.
They might be nice people, but your in-laws shouldn’t be interfering in your marital relationship. It’s important for you both to draw boundaries when it comes to visits, finances, children etc. and check the other’s comfort level with respect to it.
Time is important!
Balancing work, fun, family and personal time isn’t easy. If you don’t talk about this very essential aspect of your life together now, you’re likely to find yourself or the other grumbling.
Chalk out your time needs and discuss with the other. See if it matches. See what adjustments you’re willing to make. If you can’t arrive at a consensus, then you might want to reconsider your decision.
To drink or not to drink â if yes â how much?
The answer to this question or similar questions related to smoking cigarettes or using drugs can reveal whether or not your to-be spouse has a potential addiction problem. Alcoholism and drug abuse have ruined many marriages. So talk that out now.
The fidelity question!
What is fidelity â with respect to sexual, emotional and financial aspects â to you? Does it match that of your future spouse? If you and your to-be spouse have different opinions on what constitutes cheating, then its best you sort it out now.
Photograph via sxc.hu