Fashion Police: Letters of concern
Judging by the continuing wave of fashion crimes across the country, we’re beginning to think that our policing is having no effect whatsoever. Maybe it’s our brusque and impersonal manner that’s making us so ineffectual. Which is why this edition of fashion police will be in the form of personally addressed letters to all criminals. Here’s hoping they actually work!
To: Gul Panag
We write to you regarding a very important fashion lesson that might also prove helpful to other readers who might chance upon this.
Writing "stylish" on an outfit makes not an outfit stylish.
In fact, in an instance of sartorial irony, it simply draws attention to how unstylish the outfit is. Because whereas earlier, our fashion cops might have left you alone for simply being ho-hum, your garment graffiti is begging us to whip out a pair of handcuffs and march you to fashion jail. Of course you'll be marching barefoot. Because as much ugliness as our jails see every day, those purple shoes might be pushing it too far.
With warm regards and condolences for your last release,
IG - Fashion Police
Dear Fashion Police,
This is an open letter of admiration to your writing skills, and your different style of nabbing the fashion culprit with each new episode. Would like to hold a candle to your out of ordinary finesse and twist. What keeps me in admiration of your column is your sharp observation and imaginative comments in addition to expectations of squirms you must be causing your criminals....