THE FACEBOOK PHONE
It's only a matter of time before The Facebook Phone releases and we all know it's going to be hipster cool with awesome sauce on top. Because Facebook doesn't just do normal - it does extraordinary, but like Confucius.
So, what can you expect other than an unassuming bland exterior? GQ predicts.
Hardware: Expect minimalistic chic - perhaps all-black to counter Apple's virgin-white. Expect media around the world to mysteriously reveal weeks ahead of its 'official' launch that it will indeed be black - but the deepest, darkest night black and not just the ol' regular black that any Tom, Dick and Samsung can come out with. This colour shall now be known by the media as THE Facebook Black ™. Deal with it.
Camera: Oh boy! Forget Nokia's 48 megapixel beaut. After all, THEFacebook Phone ™ doesn't compete, it rules, purely by its sheer number of indifferent users. No prototype of the phone has been leaked but we can guarantee that there will be a dedicated camera button (and several sneaky shortcuts to it that you'll never be aware of) that will keep every snap-happy user amused. There will also be Instagram, but with instant tagging and the (hidden) default option to have it broadcast to every advertiser who's been eyeing your demographic.
Apps: Yes, there's Instagram (and god, it's good) but it's all about the 'user experience', which means you can expect there to be a whole bunch of apps pre-loaded on to the phone by default, with users then having to manually go through each app, find out what the god it does and then delete it. More often than not, users will just give up and leave the apps on there. Besides, what harm can they do? Ha.
Privacy: Do we really need to talk about this? Just accept you have none, already! You can be sure that the phone will seem enticingly simple - even Granny will soon be working that simple keypad. But then expect a call to ask why she's getting random messages on 'Alzhiemer cures' and constant SMS notifications from the 'Senior Dating Club', and why those photos she took at her last kitty party have been sent to every contact in her phonebook. There is no privacy, Granny. Deal with it.
Interface: Everything will be magnified on the capacitive screen so that when you try to zoom (pinch, swish and twister), you will no doubt hit Like and then somehow Poke that ex you've been trying to ignore for years. It's fine, she'll Poke you back, but not before posting a lolcat on your Wall that's cropped funny so you just get the grainy generic cat and half a message. Let it go. Trying to enlarge it will only somehow lead you to share it to all your friends...and then Granny will call again for a translation on what your catis saying.
The Facebook Phone. Coming Soon.